This is a very serious issue. Millions of girls in the U.S. alone are suffering from this horrible disease. This has become an epidemic and with your donation of just…. Okay just kidding. But I am seroius about the rapid and growing popularity of this. I mean what is it that makes girls(and some guys) swoon over vampires. If you can even call them “vampires”, because I just think of them as heavily breathing, whiny, overly-sensitive, brooding boys with pale skin and bad hair. I mean seriously, what is attractive about that?
The definition of a vampire has certainly changed over the years (thanks Stephanie Meyer). Whatever happened to Dracula, Gilles de Rais aka. “Blue Beard”, Rasputin, ….Hell even the vampire from “Fright Night” was of somewhat a resemblance to an old school vampire.
And now I would like to name some of the shows,movies,and books that have caused this obsession. And that have ruined this ancient and scary genre of monster and turned it into a teenage girl’s fantasy( those two phrases shouldn’t even be in the same sentence):
True Blood:
This show, I will admit, does capture the sensuality and passion that a vampire posses but they over do it. Every 5 minutes someone is giving it up to a vampire. Everywhere, every way. But it is an HBO show, what else would you expect.
The Vampire Diaries:
Here is the same old story. Girl meets boy, girl finds out boy is vampire, girl and vampire fight for their love. Yawn. Wake me up when girl is attacked by said vampire and townspeople rile together to stake him through the heart.
My Babysitter’s a Vampire:
The only reason I know about this show is because I have a 12 year old sister. To whomever came up with this concept…I just can’t think of a word to describe you.
and the winner of ”series that has downright tainted the very nature of what it means to be a vampire” is,
Twilight:
I will admit, I have read all four books. But before you judge, let me just say that I was 13 at the time and I was interested in as to what all the hype was about. I now look back , and see that I should have just put the book down when I found out he sparkled in the sun. I mean, what the hell! Where does that even come from? I have never heard legends of a vampire who, when out in the sun, sparkles like a damn disco ball (shout out to the 70′s disco era). What was Stephanie Meyers thinking?
And then you keep hearing [the vampire,who's name I will not speak or write because I have too much respect to let that name pass through my lips] whine about how he isn’t right for Bella and how he shouldn’t be with her. And when you think about it, he is like in his 100′s. I mean sure he looks 17 but if I was Bella I couldn’t get past it. Which brings me to Bella, who wins the title of “Person who has brought Feminism back 50 years”. I always hear people talk about how she is a heroine. No. A heroine is defined as “a woman of distinguished courage or ability”.She is none of that. She is a socially awkward,depressing, monotone speaking girl who bitches and moans about losing her “true love” [and I use that term loosely because he almost gets her killed in all 4 books]. A strong woman would suck it up and say “To hell with him. He doesn’t want me, fine”.
And also the movies are just horrible. If you are going to make a movie that is based on a “best-seller” you would think they would do a better job. First,they cat people who can’t act. Kristen Stewart(who only has one facial expression throughout the whole film), Robert Patterson(who gets a weird look on his face whenever he has to “resist ” the urge to feed on Bella), Taylor Lautner(who has only 1 purpose throughout the whole film, and that is to be seen shirtless and make prepubescent girls hearts beat a little faster). To name a few. Second, they changed the directors for every film. And this does happen often in Hollywood, but at least most of the time you don’t notice. In this film series you do. With the different lighting, dialog, special effects. Just be consistent already.
Okay I need to end this post because I will ramble more. So I hope I have shown you the light my friends. Don’t give in. See ya next time.
Marissa
